Dylan asked me what I wanted to do during recess and I said I had plans with June.   She seemed upset. I knew that she did have other friends, I knew that Dylan’s other friends hated me. I also knew that she knew that I was afraid of her other friends. I had the feeling that we were falling apart, I knew I would miss her and so would my sister.

I felt lost, alone. I did have June but Dylan and I had so many memories, we went back more than five months of sleepovers every weekend. Yes we had gotten in a huge fight  back in December but I had trust for her in December but now it had gotten violated. 

The hot, bubbly feeling below my ribcage. I felt like I was going to puke. June had so many friends but I felt like after Dylan and I had got in a fight I felt like I had none, no friends. Brook and Charlotte had each other and June had so many people. I had my neighbor, we were friends but she was in 3rd grade. And my dog. 

The next thing that I remember happening was that my face was hot and red and I could tell that I was crying. I ran to the bathroom before June and Dylan saw me. The bell for recess rang and I went outside to get some fresh air and some water. The rest of the recess I saw June looking for me, I tried to avoid her, not to be mean but just to get some space. Sky and Jean came over to me to ask if I was okay.

“Yes,” I said between breaths trying not to cry. 

“Girl, you don’t seem okay,”  Sky said in a voice that was clearly trying to cheer me up. 

“I agree” Jean replied.

“Well, it’s Dylan, she and I have so much history. But we are just falling apart and I feel like a horrible person. And I am just doing everything wrong and I am telling you too much aren’t I?” 

“No, no not at all, we are here for you,” Jean and Sky said together 

“Well, I feel like I need more time to get over what happened in December.”

“Can you tell us what happened in December?” Sky asked

“No, well I don’t know if Dylan will be comfortable with that.”

“Oh, okay that’s okay,” Jean said 

Dylan came over to ask if we could hang out tomorrow 

I replied in the nicest way possible, “Well, I think that we need to take some more time. You might not need time but I do.” 

I turned my back as Dylan said “Oh, okay.”

As the bell rang I saw that all her friends were going to her. I felt like she would get all the girls on her side and I would be left all alone with no friend and just to top that off my parents were feeling really stressed at home. I felt the most lonely I have ever felt. I was shuffled through the tight gate back to the classroom. I hid my face in my jacket so the boys and other girls would not see me cry. I suffered through the rest of the day with judgmental looks coming  from Dylan’s friends. I could tell we were both in a state of grief. I got up from my reading spot to ask if I could go to see Mrs.Falk.

“Excuse me Mrs. Vargas, may I go and talk to Mrs.Falk?” 

“Yes of course, anything you need,” Mrs.Vargas replied 

I walked up the marble hallway to the Wellness Center. As I opened the door a whif of clean scented air instantly calmed my busying mind. I entered the room as a calming voice asked me to sit and explain myself, explain how I felt. 

I did, she seemed to understand and get me, and this complicated world of unknowingness.  

The calming water fountain, the dim, low light, and scented mister. All that and Mrs. Falk, the most wonderful counselor. The silence between us was not the awkward kind I had with Dylan or her friends when they talked to me. This was the kind that made me feel calm, the kind that I slept with. The running water in the background. The silence. I could only hear the sound of my breathing, and my heart racing.  

As I leaned back into the chair I felt my whole world melt away as the salty wet tears ran down my face and onto my shirt. 

“Francie, I know how you feel,” Mrs Falk said in her magical way of making me feel heard and like I mattered in this complicated world. 

“Thank you, that makes me feel so much better.” I said it in a thankful voice but I know it sounded more sarcastic through all my tears.   

She told me that it was good to have feelings but not good to hold grudges. I told her that I think that I am somewhat good at letting things go. She made me feel much better. 

That’s when I realized that friendships are hard but that all the wonderful teachers and counselors at Glenshire Elementary School are so kind. Through all the friendship difficulties the Glenshire teachers and counselors are always there for us. The Glenshire staff is kind and compassionate. 

I am thankful for all the amazing tactics that Mrs. Falk and Mrs.Vargas have taught me. I will remember Mrs. Falk’s and Mrs.Vargas’s tactics for future drama. Or how to stay out of future drama. Or how to handle future friendship struggles.

Thank you, Mrs.Vargas and Mrs. Falk.