“I am out with lanterns, looking for myself-” 

I suppose that quote by Emily Dickinson sums up the year of 2025 for me. It seems that is all you can do in your first year of high school. You’re not an adult yet, but you’re still very much a kid. 

I think there are moments when we are thrown into being adults, and moments when we are catapulted back to remembering childhood. Maybe that’s just the way you learn. A lot of society likes to pretend the shape of life is one straight, predictable line. But in reality, it’s the longest, squiggly, crooked line imaginable, with a navigator who might or might not have been looking at the map upside down. 

That navigator is probably you, even if maybe you’ve been told otherwise. That navigator is you. Constantly going the wrong way, taking the wrong path. But in the end, it might not have been the wrong path in the first place, if it got you where you needed to go. 

All I can say is that high school for me was nothing like I’d dreamed about as a kid. Nothing like the movies say, but I guess having a magical flash mob in the hallway is pretty unrealistic. And while that’s not exactly disappointing, it’s a little sad. Everyone experiences it their own way, though. 

2025 was a year of massive global dynamic change. Significant advancements in technology and science occurred, alongside politics, climate and social movements. From the 2024 election to the use of AI, all of us were influenced in some way. And here, in a not-so-little high school in a small mountain town, change happened too. 

Some things happened to me that led me to great places. Others didn’t. I became a principal dancer in the company I once feared I would never make. I also tried – kind of failed – to organize school-wide, underground advocacy for women’s rights. But I tried, and that feels like something. 

I was almost going to say my first year of high school was pretty average, which in a way it totally was. But then I thought about it, and I realized all the things I did this year that I would have never had the courage to do a year ago. 

All in all looking at that from a bigger perspective, it was really just growth. It might have been the change from the completely different environments of high school and middle school. But, it was also just the continuous sign from the universe that living isn’t truly possible without some growth. 

Sometimes I get extremely bored, and think I’m just living in a loop. But then I realize the little things that happen that make everyday different. And then that becomes something exciting to notice. With highschool, everyday something happened to me, big or small that is shaping who I will grow into as an adult. 

I feel the only way to conclude this is to say that this year I’ve realized the responsibility of who we become lies on a scale of yourself, and who and what you decide to surround yourself with. That seems exhausting to have to think about. But I’ve learned that if you break it down into smaller pieces, things start to feel possible and become a lot easier to think about. Just like everything else in life.