This past semester, I took a Biological Anthropology course online at Sierra College. I had wanted to take Energy, Environment, and Climate, but the only section filled up fast. Things do not always work out, something I have learned again and again over the course of my high school experience. 

I did not put much effort into the anthropology class. I would watch the required videos at 1.25x speed, not even paying attention. The work for that class was always at the bottom of my list of priorities; something I could rush through if needed because I could still keep an A. Despite my lackadaisical efforts, I did learn a valuable lesson about human evolution.

When you hear that word, “evolution”, the image of a monkey morphing into a person may come to mind. Well, that is not how it happens at all. The process is not easy to track and there is no end product. There is no “fittest” or “most evolved” species (that thinking brought rise to Social Darwinism and ethnocentrism) because all that matters is how an organism survives in a given environment. Many anthropologists claim evolution should be looked at like a “braided stream” (aka river delta) rather than an organized family tree. Evolution is messy, muddy; some branches converge, others split off, dry up, or reconverge again. It changes with time, environmental conditions, and other impacts.

Evolution can also mean growth and positive change. I have done a lot of growth since stepping foot in Truckee High School my freshman year. Like scientific evolution, my growth so far has not occurred in calculated, directional steps. 

High school is kind of like a social experiment to get you ready for the “real world”, for life as your own independent person. You are supposed to be in the building from 7:30 to 2:30, learning, yes, but also dealing with the presence of other people. Who to avoid, who to befriend, who to keep on your side, who to believe. How to act towards those people: be nice, be mean, ignore them, speak to them, compliment them? 

I am a pretty introverted person. Up until now, I was shy about a lot of things in my life, and sometimes going out in public or having to talk to people was quite stressful. I’m also observant; a people watcher. I’ve observed a lot of people throughout high school and seen that everyone is different. But most of all, I watched the kids who could easily talk to others, who possessed confidence, unique senses of style, who had cool hobbies, and lots of friends to share them with. Those were the people that I wanted to be, that I didn’t know I could be, that I didn’t know I already was. I thought that because they were social and “cool” that they had it all figured out.

Recently, I stumbled across a video in which a woman was explaining a concept that changed her perception of social anxiety. She explained that in situations where you feel anxious or shy, you feel like you are trying to impress someone. By doing so, she claims you are thinking “vertically” because you are putting who you are trying to impress above yourself, as a sort of authority figure in your mind. Consequently, you think of yourself as more insignificant; you silence your true qualities by trying to please or become them. 

The better way to look at the situation, she claims, is to think of other people as equal to you. In other words, think “horizontally”. You and the perceived authority are both people, with skills and traits that are unique; therefore, do not envy them, but appreciate them, as well as what you bring to the table.

Subconsciously, I had been thinking vertically, trying to model myself after who I saw as “cool”. I was putting them above me, and as a result overthinking and feeling insecure about myself. I found that I needed to decide what I really wanted. I didn’t want to be these people, I wanted to be myself. I wanted to do what I loved, to grow and learn, perhaps adopting certain attributes from others along the way. 

I decided that if I wanted to do something, no matter my level of talent, skill, fear, or knowledge, I had to just do it. (Nike was onto something with that.) Just try, even if you feel scared, diffident, or judged. And I resolved that being an introvert did not have to be a bad thing. Some may see my quiet behavior as shy or reserved, but I can choose to see it as reflective and independent. 

This mindset has led me to many amazing experiences. I have discovered that I care less now, feel more confident, am surrounded by more cool people, and am more myself than ever. I have done so many things I never thought I could do because I let go of what was holding me back. One could say I “came out of my shell”. Of course, I still have days where I feel insecure, shy, and like others are better than me – we all do.

But I have noticed, more often, I have been the one to start conversations. I have worn clothes that I think are cool. I have reached out to people to learn more about what interests me. I have gone and done things even if I was scared or my friends were not doing it with me. I have progressed as a skier and as a first baseman on the softball field. I have climbed mountains; whether in ski boots or hiking shoes, with my dog, with a friend, or all alone. 

Journalism is another thing I have pursued throughout my high school experience, since the dawn of The Truckee Times and the first Journalism class my sophomore year. I have always had a passion for writing, but I never knew I would come to love interviewing too. 

I am proud that I have brought to light what is important to me and to our community through my contributions to The Truckee Times. It is a small piece of my story, but I will always have the connections that I’ve made and the stories I’ve written to show for it.

As I move to a new state, hundreds of miles away to go to college, I will take all that I have learned and achieved to continue my evolution as a person. It will not be perfect, much like high school, much like this reflection. It will be messy, muddy, confusing, and difficult because growth is like a braided stream, not a staircase.

Peace out TTT. Thank you Close.