Holidays are always exciting. The family is back together, people are traveling, grocery shopping, staying over in other houses. There are so many layers to the holidays, then family is added to the mix. Many families are calm, normal if you will. They sit, talk quietly, ask about relatives lives and go to bed at the end of the night having eaten good food and a had a pleasant – and boring- time. 

But, are these really that fun? It may be situational to every family, but sometimes you just need a little spice to add to your thanksgiving and holiday gatherings. While societally we tend to ignore topics that are uncomfortable, sometimes it’s fun to make a scene, cause an uproar and be a little controversial. Right? 

Don’t complain to me if you’re told to eat alone in the garage. Here are 10 surefire ways to causes scene at this years Thanksgiving gathering: 

1. Ask your grandfather about his opinions on current politics. 

Yeah, yeah everyone has their opinions on politics. But your war vet grandpa probably has some things to say. There is a very good possibility that this could go on for at least 30 minutes. Your get out of jail free card, agree. You most likely don’t, but agree with everything he says, he’ll feel super intelligent and you’ll have just gained some information that wasn’t even relevant 50 years ago. 

2. Ask your single aunt, uncle or cousin when they are getting married. 

Families are nosy. Everyone was thinking it, let’s be honest. They are almost 37, and are still acting like they are 19. Your grandparents are worried they are stuck with two mediocre grandkids, there’s hope for more, right? Auntie? When are you gonna find the love of your life? That’s ok, give it another twenty years. You don’t need a man! Or a woman! 

3. Double-dog dare the lactose intolerant person to eat their weight in mashed potatoes. Extra butter. 

Don’t send anyone to the ER. We know that there is a 50% chance someone there doesn’t eat like a normal human. Dietary restrictions are not a joke. Sometimes they are really severe, but if you’re doing it for a statement, please just be normal and eat the potatoes, it’s just butter.

4. “Mom, this is really good, but for it to taste better, you should’ve added (insert ingredient here).” 

We know that everyone has been working hard to make this beautiful meal all day. Slaving over the stove. And we know that the kids probably did not want to help. She’s asked you to help, you were watching football. But it is most definitely your place to tell her what’s wrong. Hint: say this sitting across the table, stay safe. 

5. Whispering. 

There is undoubtedly someone that you are close to at that table. Probably someone you are sitting with. Pointing and whispering is the best way to enrage a little brother, cousin or crabby relative. Extra points if you can whisper across the table. Mouthing may just be worse than whispering, clearly you don’t want the rest of the diners to know. That’s not for you. 

6. Nothing. 

Even if you are shy, these people are your family, they know you. Probably. Enough. Saying nothing is the best way to make someone upset. It’s conveniently gratifying to just sit back and watch the event unfold. Saying nothing is rude enough at length to make someone upset. 

7. “Grandma! I’m an atheist!” 

This is one of the best things to say to upset an extremely religious family. The whole religion topic in general is the best thing to upset an elder. Pretty much any topic on religion is a good start. Take creative liberties on this one. 

8. Comment on parenting. 

Kids are problematic in general. Let’s be honest the kids table is that much more insufferable when the little cousins are bickering over whose turn it is to play on the IPad. The best way to upset a parent – especially as someone who doesn’t have kids –  is to tell them what they are doing wrong. You definitely know better than them. 

9. Order takeout. 

You don’t even have to make a scene about it. But as you’re sitting down to eat, grab the pizza box and get ready to feast! No, turkey is beneath you, it’s overrated. Been there done that, you know what isn’t overdone, pizza! 

10. Pull up a chair for the dog. 

For some reason, families have an immense problem with having the dog anywhere near the dinner table. “Don’t sneak the dog food.” Just get right to the point, make the pup a plate and push in their chair. Let’s face it, they’re going to beg anyways.